The Precipice of Mental Health by Achea Redd

Author:Achea Redd
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Forefront Books
Published: 2022-05-03T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 6 A LITTLE SELF-REFLECTION AND SELF-CARE

One of the things I know how to do well is take care of others, and I took care of other people better than I did myself. I didn’t realize it initially, but most of the time, despite all the care I gave to others, there was no self-care on my list. That leaves the questions, Who is taking care of me? and, What happens when you don’t take proper care of yourself? Why is it so difficult for women to pause long enough to get what they need for their well-being, which allows them to better take care of others?

When I was in that place, I should never have contemplated driving myself to the hospital. Sometimes I feel that I have to be as drastic as going to check myself into a hospital in order for people to take me seriously and check on me. The disheartening part is that it’s not an act; it’s where I legitimately am during a crisis. When people are used to seeing you manage your way out of difficult situations, survive challenges and painful moments, and on top of that help others, they see you as a survivor. They think you will manage to survive anything and you’ll get through it, so they don’t have to worry about you. But what if you don’t? What if that particular time you needed someone to help you? Just because you seem OK doesn’t mean you are. Often people still function in certain environments such as the workplace or school. They could be suffering in silence—and people can only withstand so much weight.

When you have a mental health crisis, the best way to rebound is to practice self-care. You can spend your time focusing on everything and everyone else, but that’s a sure way to lose your balance. Relationships with people have always been a challenge, even before I met Michael. Michael just added another level to my relationships. When I am in, I’m in, and when I love, I love. I have needed to set boundaries for others, and I consider myself to be safe. I bring honesty and vulnerability; I give my all, my time, my resources—and my friends are your friends. I don’t hold anything back. I am selfless. But when I discovered what my network consisted of, I had to look inward and ask myself, Who is really here to take care of me when I need it? When I realized I didn’t have what I needed, I lost my balance.

Have you ever lost your balance and fallen?

Whew! It took me a long time to admit that, especially as someone who wasn’t raised to see herself that way. Even if I am emotionally struggling and someone needs encouragement, I’ve always been responsive to their needs. I am that go-to person. I have given so much of myself and shared my wisdom with people I care about, as well as total strangers. I’ve always continued to behave that way, even when I wasn’t getting that in return.

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